Love Dyer doesn’t know what to expect when her federal food benefits — the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP — refill later this month. Amid a legal battle between the Trump administration and judges trying to restore aid, the Atlanta mom is wary of letting her guard down and trusting that things could soon be back to normal.

Dyer understands food insecurity deeply. Before she had her two kids, the 41-year-old experienced homelessness. The single mom is grateful her children don’t know that life, but she knows it means working to make their dollars stretch.

That can be hard at times. Dyer has a 14-year-old autistic son who is nonverbal. He’s a picky eater whose dietary restrictions complicate accepting food pantry donations. It’s a balancing act — caring for her family while managing the stress of rising costs. 

“It makes you feel like you’re not a good mom,” said Dyer, who cares for her son full-time. “It makes you feel hopeless, like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Like, how can I possibly make ends meet?”

The Trump administration’s reluctance to fully fund the SNAP program this month amid a record-breaking government shutdown has brought an extreme level of unpredictability to critical government assistance. And no matter what happens next, health advocates and nutrition experts warn it has created food insecurity — a phenomenon defined as a lack of consistent access to enough nutritious food — that could have lasting detrimental health effects for children and their families.

Lost in the legal battle over SNAP is something that won’t go away anytime soon: The exhausting worry for families over long-term access to food aid — and the mom guilt associated with it for parents like Dyer, who bear the burden.

“That is a part of food insecurity that is very real for parents,” said Anna Gassman-Pines, a professor of public policy and psychology and neuroscience at Duke University who has examined how SNAP benefits affect families. “When you think about all the things that parents and mothers, in particular, are juggling — often working and raising children — to add on worrying about how you’re going to feed your family is just another thing that’s taking up mental load or cognitive space. That crowds out other things that parents could be doing.”

A federal judge this week ordered the Trump administration to fully fund SNAP benefits for the month amid several legal challenges. The U.S. Department of Agriculture, which oversees the program, claims it is unable to do so because of the shutdown. Amid confusing directives from the president and White House, officials are appealing to block the judge’s order.

On the receiving end are kids and families, including some parents who have been waiting for days for their food aid accounts to load as they did even during previous shutdowns. Moms may choose to cut back on their own eating to make sure everyone else has enough — all while making sure they can still pay for the rising cost of housing and utilities. 

“There is a lot of chaos going on, but it is man-made,” said Gina Plata-Nino, SNAP director at the Food Research & Action Center, an organization that advocates for food access.

Roughly 1 in 8 Americans rely on SNAP, also known as food stamps, which issues money to people to buy groceries. The timing of when SNAP money will actually reach recipients has been unclear. While the federal government funds the program, it is dispersed by states with different internal systems for releasing the money, creating a hodgepodge of logistical issues.

As food insecurity worsens, food banks and some state officials, both Republican and Democrat, are trying to step up. But experts warn people will fall through the cracks because resources are limited.

Research shows that food insecurity can impact kids’ cognitive development, and that kids who live with food insecurity receive lower test scores. There are also some associations with pediatric obesity and increased symptoms of anxiety and depression.

“Food insecurity is something that, if at all possible, we can try to avoid among children, because it has not only immediate-term impacts — the hardship and experience of hunger in the here and now — but it also has long-lasting consequences,” said Joseph Llobrera, director of research at the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, a nonpartisan left-leaning think tank that has also challenged the government’s SNAP funding delays.

It’s not just kids’ direct food consumption that can impact their livelihoods. Research indicates that parents’ food insecurity can impact children, too.

American society cannot separate food from health, said Lindsey Haynes-Maslow, a professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who studies food systems, nutrition and public health. And that extends into the psychological weight of managing food insecurity.

“There’s the mental hurdle of trying to address, ‘I don’t have enough money, I don’t have enough funding. How do I make this work?’ So that’s an emotional toll that often we see will fall more on the individual that’s responsible for either purchasing groceries or cooking food,” she said. “In the U.S, traditionally, that might lie on women and mothers.”

For Dyer, that has meant declining innocent offers from her 12-year-old daughter to take a bite of a meal that she prepared — strategically, and knowingly — for just her two kids.

“She’ll be like, ‘Mommy, you don’t want some?’ I’ll just say, ‘No baby, y’all eat. As long as y’all eat I’m OK,’” she said.

The SNAP program has been shown to reduce food insecurity by roughly 30 percent. Disruptions, even by just a month, also have reverberations on overall economic food spending.

Department officials have defended their actions, arguing that SNAP contingency funds were not meant to be used during a government shutdown. The same department has moved around reserves to pay for the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children, known as WIC, that supports pregnant and postpartum people and their families.

“It really is a policy choice,” said Plata-Nino, whose organization pushed for the government to fully fund SNAP. “Priorities for the administration have been paid on time.”

Such outcomes also appear to run counter to the Trump administration’s priority to “Make America Health Again” and its aim to reduce childhood chronic disease.

“Too little or no food doesn’t make anybody healthy,” said Taryn Morrissey, an associate professor of public policy at American University who has studied early care, education and nutrition assistance. “Nutrition, particularly during early childhood, is so important for short and long term outcomes.”

SNAP is a critical pillar of America’s hobbled social safety net. Children represent nearly 40 percent of recipients, and more than 60 percent of participants are in families with children. It is estimated that in the current fiscal year, people on the program will receive just an  average of $188 in monthly benefits, or $6.17 per day. 

More changes are coming. This summer, the Republican-controlled Congress passed a tax bill that will include new work requirements for recipients. Lawmakers cut $186 billion from the program over the next decade.

A recent MAHA strategy report for the SNAP program recommended that it “restrict the purchase of junk food and reorient the program towards better nutrition.” Such a call can feel contradictory as families stretched their SNAP benefits for the month of October, which in some cases meant buying more shelf-stable foods instead of fresh produce. 

“I’m already hearing people talking about cutting back on their expenses, meaning they’re buying less food. People will also start to skip meals. They will water down meals or beverages to make it last longer,” Haynes-Maslow said.

Haynes-Maslow said a colleague had just interviewed a woman who said she was drinking diet sodas in the hopes of feeling fuller longer so her children could eat dinner.

While food banks have been reporting an influx of donations, it’s not expected to be enough to offset the role of the federal government in food aid and the ongoing rise in grocery expenses. Dyer is prepared to visit food pantries and ask her family and friends for help.

“I’m a believer in God and that he always has the last word, so whatever is meant to be will include taking care of my children,” she said.

Haynes-Maslow recommended that people check on their family and friends as the ripple effect of so many policy choices come crashing down. 

“Food is very personal. Even if you think you have friends and family and co-workers that are doing just fine right now, you don’t always know people’s situation,” she said. “So I’m encouraging people to just check in on the people they know, to make sure, are they doing OK? Do they have what they need?”